So even though I have been pretty adamant that I was not yet ready to date, I let a friend talk me into setting me up. We met for lunch yesterday, and I was really nervous. It’s my first date in over 20 years! Last time I dated, I was 23!
He was nice, but frankly, I am not really physically attracted to him. He’s good looking, yes, but not the kind of good looking that makes me swoon and daydream about being in bed with him! This has always been an issue for me. I find very few men attractive in a way that makes me want them to have their hands all over me. My ex-husband was extremely attractive, and I fear there are no good-looking single guys my age out there!
And, although he was very kind and seemed like a genuinely sweet man, and we seemed to have many things in common, and he has a lot of traits that I think I would like, he also has some that I know will not work for me. Mostly, he is a talker. Like too much talking. Our lunch date was over three hours long and I think I maybe spoke a total of 20 minutes! I know he was trying to carry the conversation because he knew I was nervous (I told him), but I left feeling exhausted!
I agreed to see him again, mostly because I now don’t trust my own instincts and felt that maybe I should give it one more chance. This is yet another example of the lingering mental damage that an affair does. I don’t trust my gut and I don’t ever know if I’m making a good decision. So frustrating!
He’s already text me and asked about brunch this weekend. I’m going to go and just make sure, but I suspect that I will have to tell him it’s not going to work. At least he’s a nice guy and has a great sense of humor. If nothing else, I got this whole first date thing over with and met a really interesting person in the process. It really wasn’t so bad, and I’m not sure why I was so nervous.